I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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