Dual....:-)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
