I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize