I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
