I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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