Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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