Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have already put on my inside pants.
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