i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
