I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
