You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
