i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
