He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
