I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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