A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
