can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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