Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
