i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
