I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
