I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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