There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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