The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I touched a dick in church today
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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