just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
