my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
