I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We named our party play list daddy issues
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
