Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Watching her eat just hurts me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
