Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Terrible idea I love it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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