i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
