Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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