I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
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Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
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I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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