I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
