She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
