I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This is classic penis vs brain.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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