guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
