If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
