I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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