So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
