Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
