The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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