i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
