Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
