I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
