I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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