we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I want her autograph on my taint
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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