Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
