This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
