So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You work out of a Hotel?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
