Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sext me about skeletons
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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