so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
