Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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