The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize