I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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