Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
