He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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