The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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