she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
