Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
