I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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