some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
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It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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