shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
