I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
