Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
