I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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