Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
