This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
